5+ tips for having sensitive conversations online

The coronavirus crisis has forced us to reinvent many established rules. Working from home, limiting the number of people in a room, keeping a distance of one and a half meters… Thanks to a good dose of creativity, most employees have fortunately managed to maintain a high level of business output. But how can you compensate for the lack of face-to-face contact when it comes to more sensitive topics?

Remote conversations that still feel personal: how do you do it?

‍Remember the pre-COVID era? It feels like a different life now: the ease with which you invited applicants to the office, held a performance review in a small meeting room, or had a team meeting with the whole department in a stuffy conference room. It all felt so normal.

Until mid-March, when the threat of the virus brought everything to a halt.

Working life in the Netherlands came to a screeching halt. Working from home became the standard, unless you were in a "vital profession." Almost everyone retreated into their homes as if they were bunkers. And we kept working. Laptops hummed, mobile phones beeped. And that is how we learned to keep the economy running.

But of course, we cannot leave it at that. A status quo is not enough.

We cannot stand still; we must keep moving forward. Keep building, keep learning, and bring in fresh ideas and new people. That is the only way an organization stays healthy.

And that means HR needs to step up. With sharp job interviews, motivating absence management, and an effective evaluation cycle.

But how do you do that with all these limitations? When face-to-face contact isn't (yet) possible and everyone seems glued to their screen? Perhaps these tips will help you make online contact feel warm and personal after all.

Tip 1. Face-to-face is possible online too

‍Not everyone is blessed with the talent to turn a phone call into a compelling audio drama.

Of course, you can hear a voice, but you cannot see your conversation partner's facial expressions or body language. This makes it harder to read between the lines, and before you know it, you miss the essence.

Therefore, make eager use of the possibilities of video calling. Keep one-on-one conversations simple.

No detours into Zoom, Hangouts, or other systems where you spend half an hour dealing with settings ("I can't see you"), fixing audio issues ("You sound like you're in a tunnel"), or struggling with unreadable text.

Use what almost everyone uses for everyday things: WhatsApp. With the camera function. It’s child's play. This way, you can still look each other in the eye without the extra stress.

Tip 2. Slow down

‍Yes, we believe in video calls.But it is still different. Information that reaches us via screens is processed differently by our brains. It takes more energy, and we tune out more quickly.

Someone might also feel a bit uncomfortable because the other person is intruding into their home environment. You feel more scrutinized because a camera offers little room to escape.

Try to take this into account; show understanding and respect for someone's privacy.

Keep your online conversation limited in both time and content. It is better to split that big team meeting into two shorter sessions. Pace emotionally charged conversations by giving someone the chance to prepare in peace via email.

And send the documentation about that complicated project well before the meeting, so everyone can read up properly. In the ‘old normal’ that should really have been standard already, but now it is extra important.

‍Tip 3. A good spot for your online conversation

‍In theory, of course, you can hold an online conversation anywhere, as long as you have a good internet connection. But that doesn't work in practice. A business conversation is a business conversation. Especially if it involves privacy-sensitive matters or if someone's career depends on the conversation.

You don’t hold a conversation like that at the checkout of the local supermarket, on the school playground, or on the train. 

So make sure you have a good spot for your online conversation. Sit in a quiet room where you won’t be disturbed by a barking dog, a whining child, or a cat on your keyboard.

But not just that. Give your conversation partner such a good environment too. So clearly agree on who is calling whom and at what time, so they can take it into account.

Also take a quick look around before you turn on the camera. Is the view behind you representative and professional enough? Will your conversation partner end up seeing bikini photos, piles of laundry, or empty wine bottles during the job interview? 

Tip 4. Weigh your words

‍We all know them: those disagreements that got out of hand thanks to clumsily worded emails.

That was already an issue before COVID. But now that we rarely meet each other in person, we have even less chance of talking things out directly. Let alone patting each other on the back, shaking hands, and happily carrying on together.

Moreover, after a number of weeks of the ‘new normal’, many people are extra on edge. 

So weigh your words even more carefully than before when you write something. If you make a joke, don’t mean something literally, or don’t understand the other person: choose a suitable smiley to lighten the mood.

Notice that an email exchange is escalating? Then pick up the phone and talk it out.

Yes, sometimes you have to set your ego aside for a moment. In order to then reap the rewards of good collaboration. 

Tip 5. Go for clarity

‍One person is visually oriented, another likes to read information in black and white. So many people, so many ways of processing. So try to work in as blended a way as possible, so that you accommodate everyone as much as you can.

A written summary of the agreements made after a video call can clear up a lot of confusion, even for the people who were present at the conversation.

Do you have an online meeting with many attendees, or a presentation that you really need to focus on? Make clear agreements about muting the microphone, or preferably opt for a private chat function.

That prevents a henhouse where everyone is clucking over each other, or a chat box that only distracts with non-information (“Hey Marjolein, you here too?!”). 

Need more tips?

‍We are used to working online and have stepped into most of the pitfalls ourselves. So we have plenty of tips in this area too. Could you use a little online backup? Then feel free to contact us for a no-obligation conversation.