Workplace conflicts: put a positive spin on them

Workplace conflicts? Here are 7 tips for managers!

You choose your friends, but you don't choose your family or your colleagues. It can easily happen that employees' opinions or personalities clash. And that’s where an important difference comes into play: in your private life, you can usually avoid each other for a while without serious consequences. But with workplace conflicts, you can't just decide to avoid all contact. You will eventually have to find a way to work together if you want to keep the situation manageable.

It can also happen within your team that two colleagues end up at loggerheads. Excluding someone, or giving each other the silent treatment.

How do you, as a manager, handle these kinds of problematic situations? We have a few tips to take the pressure off.

‍Tip 1 - Open communication as a foundation

Prevention is better than cure. Create a culture within the team where it is normal to address issues with each other in a positive, constructive way. Where you talk with each other, instead of about each other. Open communication makes it much less likely that frustrations will simmer and, often at an unexpected moment, explode.

As a manager, you naturally have a leading role in how you communicate. Be proactive and regularly walk the work floor. Invite your employees to reach out. Keep your door literally and figuratively open so that people know they can come to you if something is going on. If you are often on the road, let your team members know they can call, text, or email you. And: make sure you actually respond!

A safe foundation is important. Read more here about how to ensure mutual trust in your organization.

Tip 2 - Name what you see

Many workplace conflicts are beneath the surface. They aren't visible, but you can feel the tension in the air.

It can become an elephant in the room: everyone knows it's there, but no one talks about it. And meanwhile, that elephant just keeps growing to unmanageable proportions.

Don't let that happen in your team. If you notice a conflict brewing, it's best to invite those involved for a cup of coffee. Make the situation discussable by naming what you see happening. Do this objectively, keeping it as factual as possible. Let both parties have their say, and then come to a joint evaluation. But more on that later.‍

Tip 3 - Look for the story behind the conflict

It takes two to tango.

It is therefore not advisable to try to point fingers or assign blame for the disagreement. It is usually more interesting and effective to look for the story behind the story. Why did the conflict at work start in the first place?

Is it about a procedure not being followed? Then it's worth looking into why that happened. Perhaps the procedure isn't clear to the colleague, or it no longer fits current insights. Or perhaps the employee has come up with a handier way of working that is actually more efficient. By shifting the focus from the people to the problem itself, you can arrive at surprising insights that you can further develop into something that moves the organization forward.

Also read: These skills you should learn to become a good manager.

Tip 4 - The work: the common denominator

A workplace conflict has something that a private argument lacks: there is always a common goal. After all, you both work at the same company. You can't just decide not to show up anymore, unless you want to risk losing your job, of course. This common denominator can be a great reason to work toward a solution.

The customer is counting on services being delivered, and production has to keep running. Employees are therefore expected to conduct themselves professionally. How can they, as colleagues, make sure they keep building the company together with you? And how can you support them in that? 

Tip 5 - Into the future together

Sometimes it can take a few conversations before you get there, and sometimes it is necessary to bring in an external mediator to approach the problem even more neutrally. Still, the moment comes when you can make agreements with each other about the future. In a few cases, one of the employees decides to leave the team, but usually a good, warm-but-businesslike conversation clears the air enough for people to work together again.

It is helpful to clearly record the agreements made. Not as a contract, but more as a shared “this is how we do things.” What do you expect from each other, and how do you treat each other? Hold each other accountable for keeping the agreements. That does not rest solely with you as a manager; every team member bears their own responsibility in this. All parties can therefore call each other (and you!) out if someone deviates from them.‍

Tip 6 - Bring the team along

Give enough attention to the team as a whole. The colleagues who were not directly involved in the disagreement have undoubtedly felt some of the fallout. It may have caused unrest and gossip, and negatively affected job satisfaction. 

So do not let that elephant in the room linger there either. Let the team also know, in a neutral way, that the air has been cleared and that positive things have come out of a difficult situation. For example, it can be a good idea to work the findings and conclusions into team sessions. Keep it light and future-oriented. 

Tip 7 - Insight into everyone’s user manual

We are all human, each with our own user manual and quirks. It can sometimes be difficult when all those personalities come together in one place: work. Often you do not really know yourself why you do what you do, or you have no idea why your colleague reacts the way they do. 

Doing a motivation analysis as a team, in which talents and character traits are clarified in a neutral, positive way, can strengthen mutual understanding and appreciation. It also provides a handy reference point to fall back on later, with humor and understanding, if a situation threatens to escalate. 

But how do your colleagues find out what their motivations and talents are? By working on their professional development! Read this blog and find out how you can encourage it.

Need more tips?

‍We can help you get started. With our own best practices, but also with online communication ideas and by making interesting tests or tools accessible. So feel free to get in touch with us!